I always said that being a cop was an important part of who I was, but it didn’t define me.  It took not being a cop for more than two years to realize just how important it was. 

I retired from policing in 2024 and went straight into government work.  Initially it was everything I’d been looking for.  No nightshifts, never on-call, and a commute that involved pouring a cup of coffee in the kitchen and walking upstairs to my office.

I liked my colleagues and appreciated the lifestyle.  I knew in my head the work we were doing mattered.  But I didn’t always feel it in my heart.  There was a void, and before long I began thinking about ways to fill it.  Maybe I could become a volunteer firefighter or join the local Search and Rescue team.

Instead, I took another position in government.  More fantastic colleagues and another supportive office environment.

But the void persisted, and an unexpected path emerged.  The department where I’d served for many years invited retired members to come back and work in frontline policing, in uniform and responding to calls.  This was a chance to resume and finish my career exactly how it started.

But initially, I didn’t consider going back.  That chapter of life seemed over.  Until one morning, I was riding a commuter bus into Victoria, and it struck me.  A conversion moment.  I could be a cop again.  I should be a cop again.

I didn’t want to make a rash decision.  I spoke with my wife and my dad.  Neither was surprised.  Both were very supportive.  I confided in friends and former colleagues.  They encouraged me to follow my heart.

Last week I was sworn in and handed the same badge I’d turned in not that long ago.  My wife and daughter were at my side.  Close friends made special trips to be there.

I’ve already worked a few shifts back in patrol.  My twenty-six-year-old partner has been infinitely patient with my endless questions about computer systems and passwords.  Over one day and one night we investigated files involving homelessness, violence, and mental health.  We interacted with people experiencing some of the lowest points of their lives.   These were not happy moments. So, I was not happy.  But the void was gone. 

Before a nightshift, I watched the first episode of the new season of Ted Lasso.  The main character, Ted, was torn between following his heart and returning to England to coach soccer or continuing in a job that didn’t truly matter to him, so he could continue to live with his son in America.  Ted’s mother saw his distress.  She told him, “It’s good for a boy to see his father do something he loves.  Take the job.”  Ted faced a gut-wrenching decision, until an unexpected path unfolded.

Mine wasn’t an easy decision.  Two months ago, it wasn’t even a consideration.  I don’t know how it will play out in the months and years to come.  But I took the job.  It’s where I’m meant to be.  I want my daughter to see her father doing something he loves.